The story of faith

Disclaimer - This has nothing to do with my previous write up about leap of faith.

Faith... Has different houses. A Christian one, a Muslim one, a Hindu one etc, what we close religion. Many of us are born into a particular religious and that forms a huge part of our though process. The liberal called it confidence, the conservative call it belief. I simply call it faith.

Faith has different connotation in different religious. The way we do things are not written someone, but rather told to you and you are expected to be the torch bearer of this everlasting flame.

I like many of you grew up in a house with a mixed of upbringing. My father a religious man and mom a firm believer in God and not in rituals. Thanks God for that, as I know all my prayers by heart (Like a parrot) and many occasions refuse to follow society norms. I am the rebel in my house.

Visiting a religious place of worship is a part of out to do list. We have to visit our family Church once in a while. I did it this year. I love comming to this places as it offers me a calm serinity. What I equally hate is the commercializing God. Well that's a good story for another write up.

A found a spot in a small church in the vicinity that does not offer noise and all I did was observe. The people around me, and thier belief.

Here you have a place of worship that welcomes all sects, but it the few are devout and religious. The best part to observe is the offering box. People offer money gold saree and I don't know what else as a thanks giving to our lady. God does not require money, it requires service and from the humble kind. The best offerings as per me are the one two rupee coins offered by the extremely poor, who can even afford a meal for the day.

Dont complicate god. He is very simple. He loves you and he wants to be a part of your life. Let him in like a friend, like a guide and not some supernatural being hovering over your head waiting for you to community that one perfect mistake so that he can curse you.

It's your choice, he becomes the person you want him to become.

A Part of You

I saw a beautiful shawl on your chair and it stole my heart.

This was special as it belong to your father. I dont know why, but I could also feel his presence around you. 

This world is a beautiful yet strange place. It gives us life along with beautiful caretakers. Unfortunately, even people come with an expiry date. 

We all know that the unforeseen event will happen, but none of us are ready for it.  Life and death find a way. Some are strong and accept the situation head on, while some still grieve the sorrow.

It's fine, life moves on. 

He's gone... Don't morn his death, celebrate his life... all those countless hours he spent with you. His achievements, his failures, his grief , his happiness are all moments that made him who he was, a strong one Indeed. 

He taught you the importance of life, the beauty it stores and challenge it throws back at you. He taught you that love and hope can conquer all battles. However dark the tunnel, there is that ray of hope that awaits us.

I know there is an empty void in your heart which no one can fill. The beauty is that you still search for his presence in his belongings. I know your dad is with you, supporting you through this messy world. He's special cause you are a part of him. 

You have the most infectious smile, The only thing missing is that twinkle in the eye. Bring it back!!!!

Stay the way you are, don't change for the world. You are Special, that's how he wanted you to be!!

God bless!!

Her Untold Story

Talking to a good friend today I realised that we all have our little stories to share that would seem ordinary to others but is truly heroic for the person going through pain.

1) Strong mother - My friend and my mentor has the cutest baby. She just gave him birth but he's all mine😍😍😍. Chit Chatting about this cuties pie, we drifted into many small talks. One of them was her difficult pregnancy. The evening sickness insomnia, restlessness, ligament tear , swelling etc etc etc. It's not easy but there is an inherent strength that each mother is gifted with and thats the power of hope. The journey after delivery is more difficult though ....

2) Beautiful Wife - I know a lady who underwent certain difficult times in her younger years. With an early marriage , kids (lots of them), battling depression, managing the house, etc etc...things that she is expected to do. In our hypocritical society a lady apparatenly has no needs and cannot demand something. Struggling she somehow pulled on 50 years of her life. One fine day old-age took away her husband and left her with her kids who had moved on. Surprisingly, I now saw a better side of her.. as happier person, a more content person. Over the years I realised that she just felt liberated. She never enjoyed a great marraige or any support from her parents side, she just pulled on. Liberated, she now has the right to be happy and finally be herself. At 70 she was glowing , happy and extremly beautiful.

3) Selfless Women - Those reading my blog would know my school of learning, the Mumbai local train. On one such a day I met an 55 year old lady. Just like many of us she was travelling in the train going to earn her bread and butter. She was waiting for a seat to get empty so that she could sit. As the day may have it nothing was available. So she stood waiting for her destination. As she stood, she seemed very restlessly, shifting from one leg to the other, touching her knees every five minutes. A fellow commuter understood this and offered her a seat. She greatfully sat with a relief on her face. During the journey, we indulged in various small talks and she told me that she suffers from severe arthritis. She was advised bed rest for month, but she can't afford to take it as she has a house to run.  She has kids but they are also struggling to make ends meet. So she wants to financially support them as much as she can. 

Take aways from this is that a mother never retires, never resigns, constantly works very hard to give her child every comfort which she never got. A mother is not bound by financial strata, so whether you are from a very affluent family or from a very middle home, there is this women who will patiently suffer for her child.

I just shared three examples, but when you open your eyes and hearts you will find a  a plethora of people with thier little untold stories. That little hidden truth between the fine line. So next time you meet someone. Don't Judge them, you will never know what they have gone through.

The Pain of being in LOVE

This one's for your darling....

You may never know the pain of loss, if you never enjoyed the happiness of holding it... Anonymous

Love is a very strange term, it make you'd cry, it makes you laugh, is make you dream it makes you sleep.... These are moments, simply turn to memories later.

Fortunately, we all live in a time and country where we as a women can choose what we want, whom we want ... This may be the wrong decision but it's still mine.

Many relations don't work. Friendship turns sour. When you can fall in love, you can also fall out of love... Don't blame your self for something that is not fault.

Cry it out, let it loose. Don't regret not letting it go.. but once it's out don't let it come back.

We all go through trails and tribulations. We all pass the rough seas, but you need to sail. If it had to be over, then you wouldn't survive. And if you have... There is more than meets the eye....

Wait some thing better appears. It's just a turn not the end of the road....
You are strong, beautiful and amazing. Tell these tales to your kids when you are old..

Always remember -  Don't cry it's over... Smile it happened...... The may be a suprise at the corner of the road!!!

Love you!!!!!

A Farewell note...

So Madam .. The umbilical cord has finally been cut. 

Your 14 year long association with this company would have in itself been an incredible journey and no words would be sufficient to replace this feeling.

Four years ago, I joined the organization not knowing anything about this industry. A lot of scepticism also plagued me for a long on what am I supposed to do. Little was I aware that I would receive such beautiful helping hands that would not only care but also nurture me along the way. You were one of them. :-)

We had our share of discussion, quarrels, disagreements but i think we grew above all this. This was only possible as the wonderful person that you are never allowed all this to disrupt us. I still cherish all the Christmas gifts that you sent me. They are proudly displayed on my table. 

I know now that you embark on a new journey with your loved one, across a different country, but I know that you will definitely find a guardian angel there as well. Goodenss always finds a way.

I want to take this opportunity to thank you for everything and wish you all the luck in this world. May you prosper abundantly  and find what you are looking for in life.  I will not miss you as I will still stay connected (even if you don't want to).

And finally.. God bless you!!

The Story of a Princess

As a girl, I was very fascinated with barbie dolls, fairy tales and dragons. The fascination has not yet died and fairly tales still intrigue me, make we want more.

As you readers must have realized that the Mumbai local train is a great teacher. All you need is an observant eye. But my today's story relied more around what I observed outside the station. Daily as I cross the subway, I see a group of beggars placed very strategically in the subway. Previously they used small children, thanks to slumdog millionaire the focus has now shifted to older women. Seeing them daily you realize they are not usual beggar. The way they dress, the way they behave and most importantly their clothes are not soiled. They don't beg but just sit around waiting patiently for that nickle sound to hit their bowl.

These old ladies are employed by someone to beg and they are merely paid a salary. The princess in this story is not born out of royalties, she is rather a normal women who is still probably working for her prince. Not a proud moment for her but life's brutality never left her with an option. She needs this job to take care of her offspring and her husband.

When a girl child is born, its not a proud moment in people's lives. They bring her up as it's their job. All these girls were taught that your prince charming will come on a white horse and will hush you off to his palace. When the time for their marriage arrived, they went with what their heart told them to do and gave it their all. This is when disappointment sets in. The failure of not living like a princess starts killing them inside. Kids grow up, husband's are not worthy of their sacrifice, the poor princess is now forced to beg to make ends meet.

It's a humbling story of every women. I can't change their fate but can express my thoughts. My princess is tired and old,  but still putting up a strong front. These women are every princess in their own right. Beautiful from outside and inside. Thier demons are poverty, hunger and society, still they continue fighting. Life is not a fairy tale, but things get really bad when we give up and over think something too much. Specially something that we can't control. Take each day as it comes and smile. It may not resolve the issue but at least help you fight it better.

So next time you see an old lady begging... Don't consider her to be helpless.. but rather a fighter who has not quit living.. A princess in every every true sense.

God bless..

THE CELEBRATION OF “ME”

Diwali is around the corner.. Yipeee… It of course means that there is amazing goodies that I get to eat during this time. My diet is rightfully tossed outside the window and devouring fried chaklis becomes my eternal right. Diwali is a very Important festival in India and a very concrete  part of my life. Though we never celebrate this festival in our house, we did so in our locality. Bursting cracking, chatting with friends, having a street war with the children of the other localities, showing off my new clothes etc etc etc….

Flashforward 2016 , nothing seems to change. The gully war have become more corporate and moved to air conditioned place. These are now called aisle and cubicle. So like very year, we planned on a gala Diwali office festival.  An entire day of celebrations, bling clothing and games.  Stratergizing the event two week before the celebrations, we decide to dress in a traditional saree.  I don’t own a very glamorous collection of sarees cause its one of those wears that I rarely wear. The one which I wore last year obviously, I cant repeat them again, so I plan to buy a saree. I come home and excitedly tell my mother that I want to buy a new saree. My mom most instinctively tells me that “From now onwards you will never wear any saree again. You looks disgusting and like a very old women. When you wear a saree the entire world laughs at you. Don’t make a fool of yourself and me”.

Honestly I was expecting my mother to reject my notion of wearing a saree caused its one attire that she never liked, but these words took me by surprise. I was disappointed. I left the topic, but it never left my mind. I just realized that there was not one moment in my life that I was every appreciated for. I grew up being told that I am wrong.I always have been, I don’t analysie, I don’t this and don’t that, the blacksheep  etc etc etc. I was never once told that you are different and its ok to be one. Never heard an appreciation, never did anything right. I don’t blame them. I am not like other kids, but my difference was never celebrated. Hmmmm.

Well, disappointments bring you to think and think very hard. Saree in this story is just an example of how we let other change our thinking. You should wear this, you should think that, we live in a society, we are answerable to them blah blah blah blah. We start living a very pre conceived notion of what is right and what is wrong. Things are that traditionally done are right cause its just done and we should do it too. I have never understood this concept and probably will never understand as well. I do things because it makes me happy not because I want to show the world.

This bring me to a very important realization.  I know I am different and I am very proud of it. At 32 I am fat, not married, don’t have kids, but that does not mean I am less me. I am proud to be me. Don’t let society norms obstruct you from finding your true self. Focus your energy on doing the right not on thinking what is wrong and why it happened. Rejoice because if you are still alive, it means that is lots for you to do. Today I celebrate “Me”….

BTW… I am still buying that saree for my self.

Excuse - Me... Where is the time??

All of us have one good reason not to do something. Whats your?

 

There are different places where you can learn stuff like school, collage and various institutions. But I have a different teacher. It's called "The Mumbai Local train". This is the best way to observe and understand the human emotion. I learn something new each day and today was no different. So here goes my learning.

Following my daily religious path I run toward the station and boarded the local train. Getting into the train is a task in itself, which I am very proficient in….ahemm!! ahemm!!!.  Once in, the next mammoth task is finding the seat. It's like searching for your long lost brother who was lost many years ago. When you get the seat you feel like Nirupa Roy, the famous Indian mother …. who has tears rolling her eyes once she sees her sons. Till such time I don't know anyone in the train. Once settled with all this tamasha, your memory starts coming back and you start behaving like someone who lost her eyes and can now see again. Main dekh sakti hoo...

Nevertheless, getting back to my story,  I find my yapper friend in the train as well. I try to duck and hide as usually was spotted by her. So she started talking and talking and talking. I try cutting her in between and then she again starts talking about various stuff , like her life, her kid etc etc. Talking we stumble upon a topic of our hobbies. She tells me that she loves to paint and maybe be interior decoration. She wanted to professionally take this up but somehow got lost in the race of life to make a living. Her focus now is her job, her son and finally a little house work. I somehow feel this is fare as your family becomes the first priority. I recommended a friend of mine who teach painting to children. She could go for a Sunday class. She then tells me the work that she has on Sundays and her evening shopping ritual. She flatly refuses as she does not have the time for herself. She lists atleast 15 things that she needs to do in the day that occupy her time. In all this list of her’s, she exhausted by the end of the day. The “time kidhar hain” weapon is at work again.

This actually made me think about all that she said.  I don’t sympathize or empathize with her, but rather identify with her. Aren’t we all like that. We dwell in the mythical world of “Time kidhar hai”, which means where is the time?? Contrary, we how find time to give special attention to our best friend whats apps, facebook , instagram etc etc, but we don’t have the time for our self. This medium take aways hours of daily life but somehow its unaccounted for. I don’t have a problem with these system, I just feel they rob away too much from you and make you underappreciated yourself a lot.  

I know many people have said this time and we fail to understand, but its not that difficult. In this fast pace life, we have forgotten how to enjoy the fresh breeze, enjoy a nice guitar lesson, a piano class, a painting session, a theater play etc etc. We can make time but we don’t want to.

It’s finally our choice and life and what we make of it. It’s one life and indeed a short one. Live your dreams now!!!

The power of HOPE

I had almost given up writing as I was too busy running after everything else... My two friends brought different perspective about the joy of writing. So here my learning goes..

A couple of years ago my family was faced with a very difficult situation. The birth of my sister's second child. It is supposed to be the most beautiful phase of a women's life, but in our case it was nothing less than hell.

In the seventh month of pregnancy, my sister was diagnosed with rubella a kind of German Measeals.  What this virus apparently does is affects the growth of the child in the womb only. The limbs may be distorted, the mind may not work, chances of a retarded child increase with this virus in your blood. The doctors without thinking suggested the abortion of the child.  In the seventh month the abortion is more like a delivery. So you get the kid out and its done.... Ouch
..

The moment of Joy had suddenly turned into a grimm situation. There was no doctor in Mumbai whom we did not consult but the same answer. After days of though my sister decided to give birth to the child irrespective of the consequences. No easy decision friend. The result was nice cute absolutely health baby. She is nothing more than a miracle in our lives

So what made the difference. I would say God, the almighty. The other call it HOPE. Technically it should not even exit. It's just the end of the tunnel. That's when your heart refuses to give up and makes sure you see the light. It was very easy for us to go to a doctor and just deliver the child. However we choose the person who gave us hope. A ray of light

I met another person who is on the verge of a nervous breakdown down. Does not know what to do beyond a point. A black out. But what is important is finding that ray of hope with a positive mind.

Hope is a practise that should be followed religious like any other good habbit. Wash your hands before food, take a bath, chew your food etc etc. Teach you kids to have hope. Even thinking about it brings a positive energy and make the impossible possible.

Never ever give up. Life is beautiful, full of trials, error, up and down. But one things that God gives us is hope for a better tomorrow.
perspectives to me.

A wound that I nurtured

I know it sounds gross but I actually have a very nasty boil on my stomach, and boy it hurts L L. Something that I cant control but I have to nurture it round the clock, taking care that no one bangs into me or I sure will bang them. I almost feel like a pregnant woman, who is taking care of her baby. The main difference here is I don’t want this baby. Due to this I am super cranky, feverish, irritated and practically bed ridden.

Apart from my very defective body, I also have a defective ear (I am partly deaf). This is the occurrence of my constant endeavor with the ear bud. The ear bud company is fine, but I just like to attack the root cause of the situation (pun intended). Nothing that I can do now, but take care of it and ensure it gets better. If you look at it, many things can be controlled. Like my little experiment my weight for the matter of fact are the main cause of the boil.

Just like that all of us nurture certain wounds from relationships. My mother, sister, father, friend, colleagues any body. We all just find a reason to continue nurturing this wound. Not matter how bad or rotten, we still need it like a constant reminder of what happened to us. Let go people. Life is too short for all this mess. You have two options in life either you hold or you let go and embrace the future. The choice is all ours.

Nurture the joy not the pain, nurture the happiness not the sorrow. Its your life make a choice and make it fast.

PS – It hurts man… sob sob…. L L