THE CELEBRATION OF “ME”

Diwali is around the corner.. Yipeee… It of course means that there is amazing goodies that I get to eat during this time. My diet is rightfully tossed outside the window and devouring fried chaklis becomes my eternal right. Diwali is a very Important festival in India and a very concrete  part of my life. Though we never celebrate this festival in our house, we did so in our locality. Bursting cracking, chatting with friends, having a street war with the children of the other localities, showing off my new clothes etc etc etc….

Flashforward 2016 , nothing seems to change. The gully war have become more corporate and moved to air conditioned place. These are now called aisle and cubicle. So like very year, we planned on a gala Diwali office festival.  An entire day of celebrations, bling clothing and games.  Stratergizing the event two week before the celebrations, we decide to dress in a traditional saree.  I don’t own a very glamorous collection of sarees cause its one of those wears that I rarely wear. The one which I wore last year obviously, I cant repeat them again, so I plan to buy a saree. I come home and excitedly tell my mother that I want to buy a new saree. My mom most instinctively tells me that “From now onwards you will never wear any saree again. You looks disgusting and like a very old women. When you wear a saree the entire world laughs at you. Don’t make a fool of yourself and me”.

Honestly I was expecting my mother to reject my notion of wearing a saree caused its one attire that she never liked, but these words took me by surprise. I was disappointed. I left the topic, but it never left my mind. I just realized that there was not one moment in my life that I was every appreciated for. I grew up being told that I am wrong.I always have been, I don’t analysie, I don’t this and don’t that, the blacksheep  etc etc etc. I was never once told that you are different and its ok to be one. Never heard an appreciation, never did anything right. I don’t blame them. I am not like other kids, but my difference was never celebrated. Hmmmm.

Well, disappointments bring you to think and think very hard. Saree in this story is just an example of how we let other change our thinking. You should wear this, you should think that, we live in a society, we are answerable to them blah blah blah blah. We start living a very pre conceived notion of what is right and what is wrong. Things are that traditionally done are right cause its just done and we should do it too. I have never understood this concept and probably will never understand as well. I do things because it makes me happy not because I want to show the world.

This bring me to a very important realization.  I know I am different and I am very proud of it. At 32 I am fat, not married, don’t have kids, but that does not mean I am less me. I am proud to be me. Don’t let society norms obstruct you from finding your true self. Focus your energy on doing the right not on thinking what is wrong and why it happened. Rejoice because if you are still alive, it means that is lots for you to do. Today I celebrate “Me”….

BTW… I am still buying that saree for my self.